Adopting any children from anywhere is wonderful. In the United
States, there are 500,000 children in social services foster care with 115,000
available for adoption now.
Single people, like me,
can adopt. About 33% of all adoptions are by single females; just 2% are by
single males.
If you adopt domestically
through your local county Social Services, attending the orientation class is
free; adoption training classes are free; looking at children is free; and when
he/she/they are placed in your home, you receive foster care payments (about
$500 per month per child) until the adoption is final.
In California, and most
states, you may not adopt until the child(ren) have lived in your home for six
months. So, you need a foster care license. There is no such thing as an
adoption license. When you contact Social Services, tell them you want to be a foster
parent with the intention of adopting, called foster-adopt. A license
requires training classes, references, a biography, a state and Federal criminal
background check, fingerprinting, a physical, CPR training, and a home safety
class.
1.
Call
your local Social Services department. Tell them you’re interested in adopting
children and that you’d like to attend an orientation session. Warning: This
phone call – the most important phone call you’ll ever make if you adopt – is more
important to you than to them. Some social workers are indifferent to your life
changing decision – ignore their indifference and move ahead. You’ll meet good social workers later.
2.
Attend
classes for about 30 hours. The classes deal with issues faced by children in
foster care, like neglect, abandonment, hunger, etc. You’ll learn that 95% of children
in foster care are there because of their parents abuse of drugs/alcohol.
3.
Go
online and look at children! It’s fun and you’ll be a parent someday soon…
4.
After
classes, interviews, background checks, etc., you’ll meet a social worker in
your home for a walk-though safety inspection. He/she will issue the license
right there. Note: Kids have to have their own bedroom, although two youngsters
of the same gender can share a bedroom.
5.
After
you’re licensed, you’ll meet with a social worker and review available children.
Some children are more available
than others, so be careful. Ask
questions. The legal (or “adoptable”) status of children is based on the legal
status of their parent(s). Social Services departments are required by law to
reunite children with their parents or blood family. If social workers give up they
must obtain permission from a judge to stop working with the parents - called
withdrawal of services. Next, in a separate legal proceeding, parents can be
stripped of their parental rights, meaning the children are free to be
adopted. In This is US, I
describe taking in my three children before either of these steps had occurred.
That’s risky.
6.
You can
pick age, gender, and ethnicity, but the more specific you get the fewer children
are available. If you’re looking for a young Caucasian 0-2 years old, the odds
are slim. Most children in the social services system are older than two,
minorities, members of a sibling set, or children from an “adverse background,”
meaning their parents are, for example, felons. My children were all four. The
good news is that if the child(ren) you adopt meet any of those four criteria
the foster care payments may continue until the children are 18 years old,
along with free health care, under a federal program called the Adoption
Assistance Act. In some states, these children also receive free in-state
college tuition. These children, along with children with disabilities, are
called “special needs children” in this context. The “special need” they have
is a home (!) because as they get older they’re harder to place in homes. Any adopted
child also qualifies the parent for the Adoption Tax Credit – about $13,000 per
child. It’s subtracted from what you owe in federal taxes or, if you owe less,
simply paid to you.
7.
After
a child has been in your home for six months the county will initiate adoption proceedings,
which can take anywhere from 6 months to years, depending on the veracity of
your social workers and how hard you push.
8.
Enjoy
and hang on! You’ll make mistakes, but not more than I did. And you’ll have
fun, but not more than I did…
Requirements for Foster/Adopt Parents. Here’s a great list from New York’s Office of Children and Family Services. The basic rules apply everywhere and it gives a brief recap of the same adoption training classes I describe in This is US, called MAPP, or Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting.
Listening to Parents has great research about the challenges of domestic adoption. The challenges aren't the children - they're fun - but the system, bureaucrats I call "beads of mercury" in This is US. Listening to Parents aims to change that and remember, the joy of adopting overwhelms the challenge.
AdoptUSKids has thousands of children and 317 sibling sets available for adoption.
Northwest Adoption Exchange has hundreds of waiting children.
